And sometimes I wonder why I’m still single…

Last week I was pretty bummed, since I was going to miss the wedding of some good friends in Asheville, NC over the weekend.  I was mainly sad to miss seeing them get hitched, but also for two other reasons: 1) I LOVE a good reception–especially the band and, who am I kidding, the bar!   2) I have never been to Asheville and hear it’s pretty cool.  Lots of hippies and beautiful scenery and good restaurants.  So, why did I miss drinking, dancing, and tye dye?  Because I decided to quit my job (see last blog post) and I just don’t have the funds these days.  So, my own fault–I feel like I’ve been blaming myself for a lot these days.  When can I place the blame on someone else?!  Anyway.

Since I was missing out on fun in NC, I decided to take full advantage of the fun in Nashville on Friday night.  That is, the fun from three different birthday parties I was invited to take part in.  I started out at the cocktail buffet for birthday #1.  Let’s just sum it up here: yummy dinner, nice house, open bar, good friends, open bar, party trolley complete with poles for pole dancing, open bar, and lots of booze on aforementioned party trolley.  After enjoying (very much so) the dinner, catching up with friends, and did I mention the bar, we all hopped in the trolley and let it take us downtown.  Of course, the entire ride we were pounding drinks, dancing to whatever booty music was blasting over the speakers, and demonstrating our pole dancing skills–or lack thereof.  Basically, we all thought we were strippers with the night off or something.  Or, a better description would be, strippers who were fired from their jobs for BEING ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE at pole dancing.  Fun nonetheless!  
Once downtown, we met up with birthday party #2 that was already in full swing at Robert’s.  We fit right in, since all of us are well on the way to being TANKED by that point.  More drinking, more dancing (though not of the pole variety, but with true cowboys), more acting like a turkey on acid, and I’m no longer bummed at all that I’m not in NC!  I actually can’t even remember that I was supposed to be in NC!!!  Funny how vodka is like magic.  After stopping over at The Stage and repeating all of the above, we decide to catch the trolley back home.  Did I mention that there’s currently a gas shortage in the city of Nashville?  Well, there is.  It’s quite ridiculous actually.  But I won’t get into it.  We dropped off most (wasted) trolley riders/pretend strippers and came to a point where there were just four (or five?  Memory is a bit fuzzy…) of us left.  As we approached the Belle Meade police station, we suddenly ran out of gas.  No worries!  Perfect opportunity to showcase our pole dancing skills to the fine police officers of Belle Meade!  No worries at all!!!  Did I mention we were still finishing off the drinks in the trolley?  Well, we were.  Photos were taken, hilarity ensued.  Somehow we ended up being driven home by a friend of the trolley driver?  Huh?  Much appreciated; at least we ended up safe and sound.   
So I wake up Saturday morning with only a slight headache, and these are the thoughts that go through my head: 1) sweet!  I only have a slight headache! 2)I missed out on a surely fun rehearsal dinner in NC where I could eat, drink, and probably dance, but 3)I definitely broke even on all of that last night.  As I’ve mentioned before in previous posts, I’m an idiot.  I don’t learn from my mistakes.  As was proven later in the day.  After meeting friends for football watching (Roll Tide!!!) and more beer drinking, I immediately realized that “hair of the dog” (or “dog hair” as Ash and I love to say) wasn’t working out in this situation.  If anything, it was backfiring.  I felt AWFUL.  And looked awful.  Oh yeah–I didn’t shower.  Woke up too late, had to make kickoff, etc. etc. etc.  And sometimes I wonder why I’m single?  This is definitely a case study.  
Cute guys apparently all around us at both bars (oh yeah–after the ‘Bama game, was home for a bit then went for round 2 at a different bar, different friends, still no shower).  How did I know about the cute guys?  NOT from seeing them myself, because apparently I’m so jaded/in a rut here these days that I am blind to the male species.  A few new in town folks had joined us throughout the day, and THEY pointed it out.  I clearly need to do the following:
  • Find a new cure for hangovers so I don’t look like death (or just don’t drink enough to be hungover, although that is like asking Paris Hilton to not be useless)
  • Take a shower before going out in public so I don’t look like death
  • Pay more attention to my surroundings.  Surroundings, in this case, being GUYS.  
  • Turn up my A-game.  Or, rather, turn it ON.  I don’t know if it’s ever been on.  Hopefully I have some A-game, come to think of it.  
All this is to point out the fact that I am still acting like a 21 year old.  Evidence?  I miss out on fun things (a wedding in this case) because I quit my job because why?  I didn’t like it.  Although, OK, I don’t regret that decision.  But that’s where it starts.  Then, I still act like a monkey and drink like it’s going out of style.  And show up to a bar the next day like I used to show up to my college classes…hungover and unshowered.  Again, I wonder why I’m still single…
So, should I act my age?  I’m thinking…NO!  It’s way too much fun!  But, I need to get back to the basics–go out, flirt, dress up, look alive the next day.  Easy!  No pun intended…!  Now, let’s see if I can put my plan into action…

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One Response to And sometimes I wonder why I’m still single…

  1. Laura says:

    Robin- you are absolutely hilarious. Where are the pictures of your adventures?Laura

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