the bean on the scene 7/12

seen in your city:
7/11 by LAM co-worker, jack white of the white stripes, can’t remember where. i think that’s who she saw anyway…

NOTHING interesting has been going on. i couldn’t even bring myself to blog about the boring summer. here are a few snippets of celeb life, but paris or lindslo really need to do something asinine soon b/c i am about to LOSE it!

ok. this may just prove my theory that shar and k-fed had a master plan all along, and were BOTH using brit to get “fame and fortune”…any single that they produce together will probably drive me to cut off my ears…

now this is kind of backwards…taking acting lessons after starring on a hit show? well come to think of it, her horrendous acting was probably a main reason she was killed off…that and you couldn’t see her at all when she turned sideways. you could just hear an annoying whiny voice. eat a cheeseburger you skanky rat.

uh-huh…it seems that there is more and more proof that “suri” doesn’t exist. let’s go through the evidence:

  1. katie was pregnant for like 11 months with different-shaped bellies…
  2. they left the hospital like, 5 hours after suri was “born”…i don’t think even the most ridiculous celebrities can really get away with this
  3. katie’s parents did not see the baby for at least a month, and jury is still out on whether they actually saw it or were brainwashed at the scientology center
  4. tomkat’s good friends, including will and jada smith, have yet to see suri, and every time they call they get “tom is busy” or “katie doesn’t feel good”….very strange especially after 3 months…
  5. and finally this sleuthing by tmz…

you tell me…does suri exist? i think not.

what are those shoes that katie is wearing with the tight wal-mart jeans? did she take a lesson from chandler bing??? BAD. so it seems that the scientology camp has inserted a microchip and programmed katie to do some “damage control” after all the “suri doesn’t exist” rumors. she is running around telluride telling everyone that the baby is at the house. one local clerk at a natural-goods store claims to have seen the baby, but that she is “funny looking”. my fave quote from the superficial…”(Suri)is real. And isn’t just a Mr. Potato Head they’re pushing around in a baby carriage. Although that would appear “funny looking” to a clerk at a natural-goods store. “ hahaha!”suri’s-doing-great”/

oh…so this explains it…suri is just being “audited”…which is another word for “built” apparently. and paris pulls the wool over our eyes. man are we stupid. the simple life is fake??? NO.

i guess this IS a boring summer. the only new out there revolves around suri scientologist. i guess tomkat plans to marry this summer, which i’m sure is according to the contract guidelines. her parents refuse to attend an alien ceremony, and here is katie’s reasoning for not insisting on a catholic wedding: “She knows that if she had rejected Scientology, her relationship with Tom could’ve ended.” “relationship with tom” meaning “her $10 million cash flow”…

“friends” betray paris? or she sleeps with all of their boyfriends? hmmm…i just don’t have much sympathy for her.

well, i guess the news is on “suri” and paris…if this is true, then herpes and various other std’s can have a break for about a year…

till tomorrow…maybe…if there is news on anyone/thing else besides “suri” and paris’ diseases.

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