My thoughts on the Oscars…

as usual, i thought the oscars were boring and highly overrated. this year, though, instead of lots of long-winded speeches, the execs sitting around the table at the academy decided that THIS IS THE YEAR that they would put an egg timer on the winners…THIS WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING! WOO HOO!!!!!! oh but wait they say…we can’t cut the show too short. i mean it simply CANNOT be under 3 and 1/2 hours! what to do….the powers that be decided that not one, not two, not even three movie montages were in order. i was about to LOSE it. but, i’ll admit, lots of clips of movies shown to music are better than listening to some overzealous, big-egoed star drone on and on about nothing anyone cares about. so kudos, i guess, to the academy execs for that decision. now for some quick thoughts on fashion/hair/make-up/look-a-likes/etc…

  • well-dressed stars including but not limited to: jennifer aniston, reese witherspoon, sandra bullock, queen latifah
  • should fire their dress maker: rachel mcadams looked like a dead canary, michelle williams in something that i would not send to a clothesless orphan in a third world country b/c it’s just SO wrong, charlize theron–that shoulder bow! is it so she can use it as a pillow for when she is bored to sleep during the movie montages???
  • should fire their hair stylist / makeup artist: nicole kidman, naomi watts, and reese witherspoon…very blond hair/fair skin/pale dress/NO makeup is not a good combo. while none of these ladies looked exceptionally terrible, i think it’s b/c you just couldn’t SEE them. put a little lipstick on at least….but not RED or ORANGE lipstick like rachel mcadams or michelle williams…michelle resembled one of those oversized barbie heads i had when i was little…just creepy shoulders and a head of hair that you could style. oh and barbie always had on bright red lipstick making her look like a 2 dollar whore.
  • miscellaneous: >jennifer aniston’s upper lip was botoxed to the MAX. it looked like a beak! hahaha! it wasn’t even moving. i wonder if it was hard to eat and drink? you know, like when you go to the dentist and get novacaine, and then try to drink something and you end up with your beverage running down your face. >rumor has it that sandra bullock is preg…she looked like she was about to puke, and kept holding her stomach. of course, she could have just been hungover or something…>jennifer garner is so cute…totally almost ate it when walking out to present (which would have been unfortunate but funny) then quickly covered with “i do my own stunts”. good comeback jen. >are hilary swank’s boobs WAY low on her body? as skinny as she is, she looks sort of manly.

well that’s all i gathered in between catching some z’s. except to say i’m SO glad brokeback didn’t best picture. speaking of snoozer. booooorrrriiinnnggg…

anything that i missed? comments please!

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